Some Occurrences and Observations

It's been a week since my last blog and I believe that I have gotten accustomed a bit to living in Washington D.C. It's a very interesting place and I'm already begining to pick up on all the differences between big city, East-coast living and life in Wisconsin.

This is a big city and so things naturally move at a quick pace. Weekday mornings, noons, and 5 o'clock rush hour pack the subways absolutely full. The subway is always a great place to people watch. It is truly the great equalizer, at least in this city. I can think of nowhere else where you will find upperclass businessmen, construction workers, students, whites, blacks, hispanics, asians, those who must be wearing nearly $1,000 dollars in clothing, and those with dirty rags not only together, but sitting almost on top of each other, rubbing shoulders and sharing space while they zoom off to jobs, places, and experiences as varied as their appearances.

The hustle and bustle of the weekday is sharply constrasted by the relatively quiet atmosphere of the weekends. The Congressmen have presumably all flown home. Those who live outside the city stay there. As I mentioned in a previous blog, the city holds more than a million people during the work week. Most make the commute in from Maryland or Virginia either for the day or the week. At week's end, however, all those people go home and the city is left only with those who truly reside here. That number is nearer to 500,000. Effectively, the city's population is reduced by half on the weekends. That's still a large number and don't get me wrong, things are still extremely busy compared to anything you'll find in Green Bay or Madison, much less Oshkosh (just venture up to DuPont or Chinatown on a Saturday night and you'll find hundreds if not thousands of people bar hopping or just hanging around). The relative peace and quiet of the weekends is a nice break, however. Days feel lazy. People walk their dogs, go for rides, sit in the park. Sunday afternoons remind me of the midwest.

One of the things that took (and perhaps is still taking) time to get used to is being a minority. Growing up in Oshkosh, I did have contact with different ethnicities, albeit on a very limited scale. Washington DC is about 65% African American and 32% white and that does take getting used to. I've never known what it felt like to be the only person of a given race in a situation. It's easy to underestimate the strangeness of that feeling until you're actually in that situation. Many times I walk into the CVS Pharmacy by my apartment I'm the only white person. Most of the time that I'm in the Safeway Grocery Store by my apartment I'm one of maybe 2-3 white people. It doesn't bother me and I hope that no one mistakes what I am saying for racism. I mean merely to point out one of the ways that my life here is much different than at home. Indeed, I think that the strangeness of being a minority has all but worn off. I think it has been and will be a learning experience. If anything, it's only further strengthened my convictions about the equality of all men. I don't feel any different from the people whom I live around and grocery shop with. We're all just hungry. There's a beauty in this sort of desegregation that most of us must take for granted in the modern world. I don't ever get the feeling that anyone is thinking about the color of my or anyone else's skin and that's such a Catholic atmosphere.

The people here are busy and perhaps a bit more "professional" in their demeanor, but I am also surprised at how often people are outgoing and kind to strangers. I think I anticipated the East-coast demeanor to be less personable than it really is. This doesn't mean that things are the same as the midwest, however. When you go into a store it is rare (or at least much less likely than at home) for the cashier to say hi or ask you if you found everything ok. Most of the time they won't even tell me how much I owe. I try and at least say thank you when they hand me my things. Sometimes they respond, sometimes they don't. But, for every couple stiff responses or times you're ignored there are people who are generally very friendly and helpful. I've seen people obviously confused on the subway and someone will always stop to help them out. People will get up and stand in order to let an elderly woman or handicapped man take their seat on the subway. The security guards at the grocery store not only told me I was dropping money on the way out one day, but we had a good laugh about it. I was riding my moped in the city the other day and I heard a woman in the car next to me say, "I know you didn't ride that moped all the way from Wisconsin." (She was referencing my license plates). I ended up getting into a little conversation with this woman while we were stopped at the red light. It turned out that she was from Milwaukee and so of course knew exactly where Oshkosh was. Things like that make DC a more pleasant place to live. It gets a bad rap.

Yes, there are security guards at the grocery store. And at the Target. And pretty much everywhere else. I can only assume, using superior logic, that it is because they are actually needed. I've lived here for about two weeks now (counting the week when we moved my junk) and I've never seen or been in an experience that looked unsafe. I think all of the security guards must have something to do with that. The police presence is something new as well. When you ride past the Capital there is literally at least one if not two or three cops standing at no greater than 12 feet apart all around the huge area that the Capital sits on. I suppose this is necessary. My apartment also must be the area where the helicopters that circle the White House and Capital turn around. Every day, maybe once an hour, these two huge military helicopters fly in low and turn around just outside my window. It's intense.

It's also eye-opening to see how hard a lot of people here have it. Many of the people that I live around are quite poor and their lifestyle is so different from what I'm used to. It is very normal here at the grocery or any other kind of store for customers to put their items on the counter or conveyor belt and tell the cashier the order to ring in the items. Many people simply don't have much money and so they grab what they think they can afford and they have to watch as the cashier rings up their stuff. They take the most important things first and the things that they don't need last. If they go over they ask the cashier to put the leftovers back. They don't just buy them because they grabbed them. They don't have the money. It makes me more appreciative of the situation that I was blessed into.

The sacramental options in this city are astounding. Not only are there like 7 daily mass options as the Basillica on campus, but there is also two daily masses at the parishes throughout the city (one of which is walking distance from my apartment). Confessions are heard daily at that parish and all the others, not to mention that they are heard for about 6 hours daily at the Basillica as well. That might be seriously be one of the greatest blessings I've ever had in my life.

I found a parish to attend on Sundays. St. Mary Mother of God is located in Chinatown and I attend the Traditional Latin Mass there at 9 on Sunday mornings. They have been having the TLM there (1962 missal) since long before Pope Benedict's motu proprio unleashed the Latin Mass to all priests, so this parish looks to have a very healthy and devoted group of Traditional Catholics. I could, and probably will, speak at much greater length about the Latin Mass and Traditional Catholicism in a different blog, but suffice it to say that the beauty is astounding. I have thought of myself as a Traditional Catholic for awhile and now I finally have the TLM available to me every week. The men almost all wore suits and the women almost all wore veils and beautiful 1920's style Great Gatsby dresses. I finally feel so at home.

My greatest joy of my entire experience here so far was the priest at my new parish. It almost brings tears to my eyes just thinking of him now. I couldn't ever describe him even nearly as well as I should, but he's truly an inspiring priest. You couldn't even imagine my surprise when this older, chubbier man walked to the lectern and began giving his homily... in the Queen's English! Now, if you know much about history then you will know that English Catholics have been a rarity at least since the reign of Bloody Mary. Englishmen are Anglicans and Anglicanism is (or was) so close to Catholicism that it just kicked out and replaced the Church in England since King Henry VIII and the English Reformation. I can honestly say that I've rarely seen an English Catholic on television (if I ever even have) much less one in real life. Much less one that is a priest. Much less one that is the priest of my TLM new parish. Much less in the middle of Washington DC. Needless to say, it's strange and I'd love to hear his story.

Anyway, this isn't the greatest part. He began his homily on the Theological virtues. I leaned in and listened, still astonished by his accent. As he started speaking I realized that everything about him reminded me of someone. His demeanor, his accent, definitely his thinking and speaking style, and even his appearance. This is C.S. Lewis! You may all think I'm a nerd and that's fine, but I love Mr. Lewis like I knew the man. He's been at least as influential in my life as many of the people that I actually know and his work echos eternally in my own existence and my own eternity. As I mentioned in my first post, if Mr. Renner isn't the man to introduce me to heaven (God willing that I make it; Lord have mercy on such a reprobate as myself) it will undoubtedly be Mr. Lewis. You get the idea of how happy I was with this priest. He must be a Lewis fan. Maybe it's his cousin. His homily was straight Lewis in style, presentation, wording, and even personality. He was so reverent and yet witty that you couldn't help but chuckle. I will paraphrase a few of the best moments that I can remember from his homily and the Lewis readers should be able to pick him up immediately. "Faith is essentially spoken of in two different ways. Faith can mean the actual things that we believe about God and it can mean the act of trusting in God. When we pray for an increase in faith we aren't asking God to give us new bits about Him to think about (haha), but to increase our trust and clinging to Him." "Faith, Hope, and Love are called the Theological virtues because they pertain to God. Faith in God, Hope in God, and Love in God. They are not named Theological because theologians necessarily do them. In fact, I've always made the argument that in the modern world it's quite the opposite." There were many more great lines that I can't remember. You had to be there, I suppose. Everything in him rings with Lewis. God bless that priest and I can't wait for next Sunday to hopefully hear him speak again. It's such a great preparation for the Eucharist.

Another interesting note about my parish, it is also the parish of famous politician and political commentator Pat Buchanan. If you don't know who Pat Buchanan is you are missing out. I've followed and loved the guy for a few years now so I was so happy to find out that I'd be going to the same church as him. He's one of the few last true conservatives in the country (not the neo-cons we've had for decades) and probably the only truly Catholic politician that I can think of. He's got a way about him that allows him to get away with things no one else could. He's really feisty and politically incorrect and gets into hot water quite a bit. He's also one of the only conservatives who calls out the so-called conservative Republican party. He's on television often, usually cable news networks.

He talks about race a lot and reverse discrimination. Here's Mr. Buchanan on Republican and Bush Cabinet Member Colin Powell endorsing Democrat Obama for the President:


Mr. Buchanan on Affirmative Action:


Mr. Buchanan on McCain:


Lol:


Anyone interested should check out Pat vs. The Neo-Cons as well. He's one of the last bastions of political truth in this country.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ugesi_gaqLU

Anyway, he was at mass and seemed extremely kind. A lot of the parishioners said hello to him and he said hello and talked with a few people after mass. Awesome guy.

What? You didn't think my blog would get political? I moved to Washington D.C.


I started classes today, but I only had one and it was introductory. I intend to write another entry either tomorrow or Wednesday more particularily about school. I can tell you that things went well on my first day and that I am very excited about seeing what the next few weeks bring.

Dominus Vobiscum,
Taylor

I'm Here

Well... I finally made it here. The train ride wasn't too bad. I left Milwaukee at 3 and got into Chicago at about 4:30 yesterday. I had a bit of a wait and then we left out of Chicago at about 7. The train seems to have gotten a bit behind at some point. I remember going to bed at about 4:30 AM Eastern time and waking up at about 5:30 in Pittsburgh. And then I'd wake up again... and we'd still be in Pittsburgh. And then again. And again. I started getting freaked out that I was in some even crueler version of Groundhog's Day: Pittsburgh Edition. Thankfully I eventually got up and saw Pittsburgh no more.

I got into DC around 2:30ish and got on the subway to go home. My bags were heavy and big. It was kind of a chore to move them around on a weekday in the subway.

Now I have a week with very little to do before classes start on Monday. My only plans are to drive around on the moped and try to get some of my routes to downtown and school figured out. I think I'll also go to the Smithsonian sometime this week. Maybe some shopping. Probably a lot of sleeping. On Saturday there is a grad student orientation thing. I suppose it might be a good idea to go.

I'm sure I'll post something a bit more meaningful about my first few days here, but right now I'm too lazy and tired from the train ride.

I know a number of people were asking for me to post up pictures of my apartment. Unfortunately, I forgot my digital camera on the counter at my parent's house. It is on it's way out here, however, and I will post up some pictures as soon as it gets here.

Dominus Vobiscum,
Taylor

The Schlemiel

As I mentioned in my last post, I have what would probably be called an unhealthy obsession with pain and suffering. Though I envy and deeply respect the mass of men that shrug off pain and courageously take all things in stride, I also have a philosophical and emotional interest in suffering itself. The brightest men I know seem to put much concentration here. Indeed, suffering has to be one of the chief concerns and questions on our mind. All else is illogical.

Perhaps the great contradiction in my worldview is the strong inner pull toward two conflicting approaches to pain. I call it Woody Allen vs. The Church.

I owe Nick for introducing me to the great modern Jewish comedians, specifically Woody and Jerry Seinfeld, though I must admit that when I "met" them I found them eerily familiar. The first time I watched Annie Hall my girlfriend turned and stared at me with a look that could only be described as half pity and half disgust saying over and over, "Oh my gosh. That is sooo you." If this sounds prideful, perhaps it is, but I am only happy to be lumped into this sorry clique because I so greatly identify with it. Indeed, any person hoping for an answer of Woody Allen when asking a loved one who they reminded them of would be deemed a very pitiful creature.

But alas, we are who we are. Now, I speak of Woody Allen vs. The Church not because one gives suffering a prominent place in their worldview while the other doesn't. They both are focussed very much on the idea of pain, but they approach the topic in vastly different ways. I could wax poetically about the differences, but let's be pithy. The Church sees suffering as a means to perfection, the greatest sign of love, and the center of human contact with a Divine Savior that suffered completely selflessly for men who reject Him. Woody Allen whines alot.

Perhaps it was my upbringing or genetics or some combination of both, but I must admit that it is within my nature to feel very sorry for myself. Woody Allen is a self-centered, anxiety ridden, neurotic hypochondriac. Unfortunately I identify completely. But because of all his difficulties with pain, modern living, women, social situations, love, loss, fitting in, and being happy I view him absolutely as my anti-hero of choice. Woody Allen (and his louder, but equally depressed and hapless brother George Costanza) feel what I feel and think what I think. They are the only ones who are worth a serious conversation with in this world.

I bring this up only because I find it interesting and because perhaps those who know me will understand me, and thus this blog, better because of it. One of my favorite moments in cinema is the first moments of Annie Hall. He sums up life so well.




I'm not sure what creates the melancholy, introspective, socially uncomfortable & eccentric, self-induced nervosa type, but there appear to be a number of people out there who know how I feel. Maybe Nick is the only one reading this blog who gets it. I'd like to be able to explain it, but when you watch and listen to Woody Allen you either completely understand every word and feeling that he expresses or you think he's annoying. That's about all there is to that.

Of course, the greatest men that I've come into contact with seem to take Woody's obsession with suffering and turn it into something positive instead of self-pity, which some of us are so easily inclined to do. Instead of thinking how others mistreat them and how the world misunderstands them they let go of themselves and try to figure out how to serve others. As far as I'm concerned, this is where every human being needs to be, but getting rid of Woody isn't easy, and even so, I think there is something appealling about a guy who knows just what's wrong with life and how to sum it up in an intelligent and funny way. I also think there is something to be said for a grave distaste for those who are truly considered charming, handsome, beautiful, funny, classy, sophisticated, rich, famous etc. (See above picture). Detractors will say it's jealousy, but that couldn't be further from the truth. In fact, maybe we can salvage something even greater from Woody. It is my opinion, that his view of the world is much healthier than many others in the modern world. He focusses on things of importance and calls a spade a spade. He has the great cosmic problem of suffering fueling all of his questions and concerns in life. He just doesn't know exactly yet how to properly view it and use it. In my last post I mentioned Catholicism and Buddhism being the two religions of suffering. Woody's head is stuck in the sands of Buddhist philosophy (whether he knows or it or not), but he may very well be one look upward from finding peace and that, in my opinion, is more than you can say for most people.


Perhaps all of this about Woody Allen vs. The Church can be best described by Woody himself...




Though I would certainly disagree with him about many things, Woody Allen is as smart as he is funny. He's one theological step (albeit a very big one) from having the potential to be holier than either.

Long live the Schlemiel!

Dominus Vobiscum,
Taylor

P.S. Again, many thanks to Semenas. He discovered the Schlemiel in our group of friends and it is his picture I used for this post. For that I am forever in his debt.

"Why do I get pesto? Why do I think I'll like it? I keep trying to like it, like I have to like it. Everybody likes pesto. You walk into a restaurant, that's all you hear: pesto, pesto, pesto. Where was pesto ten years ago?"

What's Happening...

I just returned home from moving all of my stuff out to my apartment in DC. The weather was beautiful and the move went about as easily as something like this could.

My apartment is beautiful, clean, and really homey. I'm moving into an apartment that was completely remodeled after it changed owners just about a year ago. I'm probably only the second person to ever live in my apartment and it shows. With the exception of a small ding in the floor it basically looks brand new and still has some of that elegant dry wall smell. It's a really trendy apartment building with really modern layouts, dark wood floors, and ceiling to floor windows. If my apartment were one floor higher I'd be able to see the river, but as it is I have a really nice view. I can see the waterfront community and watch airplanes coming and going from the airport just across the river. The other tenets seem to be, for the most part, students and young professionals from 20-30 years old. I'll post up some pictures of the place when I get back in a couple weeks.

The area is called the Southwest Waterfront. DC is divided into 4 major quadrants and I'm living in the SW quadrant. NW is downtown and contains most of the museums, shops, and monuments that you think of. I'm less than a mile from The Capital and the Smithsonian, about a mile from the White House, and a few blocks from Nationals Stadium. I'll drive past the Washington Monument and The Capital on my ride to school every morning. There is a Metro subway station just a few feet from my apartment building so I can be anywhere in DC in just a matter of minutes. The area around my apartment is one of the up and coming areas of DC. There is a mall being built right next door to my apartment and a huge outdoor stage/arena right across the street.



This isn't the best map of DC, but you can see the major landmarks. I'm living pretty much exactly where you see the dot that says Southeastern University (towards the bottom right of the map). It's even closer to downtown than the map makes it look because DC is extremely small in actual geographical size. If you look at the key you can see how much space .6 miles stretches through the city. It's probably no bigger than Oshkosh in actual ground space, but it has the population of Milwaukee living there. That number actually doesn't give you a good idea of just how packed it really is however, because while only 500,000+ live there, the city swells up to over 1 million people during the day working in DC. They may go a few miles out of town to Maryland or Virginia to go home, but during the day it's absolutely packed.

There is a lot of talk about how dangerous DC is and I think certain parts are absolutely as bad as anywhere else in the country. SE is the bad section, but as long as you stay on the west side of the Potomac River things should be fine. I don't ever need to go over to that section and my apartment is far away enough that it shouldn't matter. I just have to make sure I don't fall asleep on the Green Line home and end up lost in Shady Grove gangsta territory.

A Catholic church is 2 minutes ride on my moped away and has daily mass at noon which I will try to get to as much as possible. I'll also be able to attend mass on campus at the Shrine of the Immaculate Conception National Basillica. It's right on the CUA campus and is the largest church in the country and something like the 7th or 8th largest in the world. I haven't been inside yet, but it looks like it. It makes St. Patrick's in NYC look like a chapel. I'll be heading to St. Mary's for Latin Mass on Sundays. There are so many exciting and interesting things at my fingertips. I think I'll never run out of things to do.

We spent a few days getting everything moved in and ready in my apartment and then we did a few things around DC. We went to a Nationals game, which was really cool, and we got to see them win their 7th in a row. I'm confident they'll post a better record than the Brewers next year. Seeing as how it's a few blocks from my house, I think I'll make my fair share of games. The subways can be packed at times and I think my mom was weirded out by being wedged like sardines into the subway on an occasion or two, but that doesn't bother me. I'll bring hand sanitizer and stop using deodorant to gain some extra space.

I'm looking forward to spending the next two weeks with friends and family. I'll be heading back out probably on Monday, August 24th. That'll get me home in time to buy books and get ready for orientation.

And Thus It Begins...

It's been almost an entire month since I made my first post and I believe that it is just setting in that I will actually be leaving. I've begun preparing myself for all of the weirdness of living alone and trying to gain some courage and insight through this experience.

I am leaving with my parents and a U-Haul trailer for Washington DC early Thursday morning. We'll be moving all of my junk (and a few things that actually have eternal value) to my place and getting situated. I'm really happy to have the opportunity to get used to the place while my parents are in town. It seems that it will make the transition easier.

I also decided that I will be coming back home with my parents sometime around Monday or Tuesday. With class not starting until August 31st, I thought coming back would give me a good opportunity to spend some final days with friends and family without having to worry about the hassle of moving. I will be grabbing a train back to DC sometime around August 21-23rd and probably will not be home then until Christmas break.

So much has changed in the past month regarding my life in DC. As many of you know, my girlfriend and I split after nearly 2 years this past week for various reasons, not the least of which being my own eccentricities and quirks (more on that later).

This means that this move will be, in every possible way, a starting over and the begining of, in many ways, a completely new life. In some ways, it is a freeing feeling. I am now able to fully discern whatever God is calling me toward. Ever since I was little I have felt called to be a husband and father, but since my conversion (or reversion, if one could call it that) I've had various moments where I felt very called to the priesthood as well. Through various contacts, I have already gotten in touch with several priests in DC and will hopefully be meeting with one to start spiritual direction as soon as I move. I'll never hear where God is calling me (married life, the priesthood, single life etc.)if I don't listen and I hope that I will be able to be a better listener as I move forward in life.

Perhaps the two things that interest me most about being alive are suffering and death. (My next post should highlight this in a better and hopefully more humorous way). I realize that this sounds pretty morbid and perhaps it is, but it seems that there are hardly two more important topics that weigh down on the shoulders of all those who grapple with existence. There are many things that I fear in face of moving and living all by myself, but I also see them as a blessing. While I will certainly be opening myself up to all sorts of new and fun things, I will also be forced to grow up and grapple with certain things that are tough and painful. I think, if I am lucky, that these experiences can be a sort of Purgatory for me. Indeed, I fall short of being an Imitation of Christ, but hopefully with God's grace the difficulties before me shall be like God's hands molding and kneading me into the shape that I need to be. Catholicism is the religion of suffering, but unlike Buddhism it does not shy from it. Suffering has always existed and will follow us doggedly to our graves. The great hope of Catholicism lies not within running from suffering, but embracing it by uniting it with Christ's. In doing so, we give our suffering meaning. We let it be Christ's tool to wake us up, purge out all that doesn't belong, and save us from ourselves. As C. S. Lewis stated, "God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our consciences, but shouts in our pain: it is His megaphone to rouse a deaf world."

Of course, it is easy to say all of this in theory. It is indeed much harder to accept suffering when we meet it head on.

Lord, make haste and answer; for my spirit fails within me. Do not hide your face lest I become like those in the grave.


Dominus Vobiscum,
Taylor